For boys too!!!

OK, everyone (well, everyone that thinks about it) has looked at, seen, or contemplated a princess style ring for their daughter when she turns 16 to remind her she's worth waiting for. (Yes, Hubby & I have discussed it, it's happening).

Well, my daughter is 4....but I have a boy that's 12, so he's my main concern in this department first. My first Google search for "promise ring boy" almost made me angry, as most of the results were especially feminine. Hello? I specified BOY!

Thankfully, my brain kicked in & I realized I wanted specifically something in reference to True Love Waits. I LOVE the verse that goes along with the idea.

1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV)  Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.

 So, now my results were MUCH more what I was looking for to give my son(s). (Yes, Bubby will have to hit this stage before the Baby Girl too.....scary!) These are MY three favorites, but I guess we'll see which he likes at that point. Right now, he's more of a bracelet kinda guy, so maybe that should be my next search!

Now, before anyone gets all bent out of shape. It's NOT just my religious beliefs that make me want to encourage my children to wait. I did not myself. I wouldn't have my oldest if I had, possibly none of them, as that is truly what "pushed" my marriage to happen. (We've beat just about every statistic out there...we're just cool). 

But at the same time, and I'm sure I've indicated this before, I feel something is missing from my relationship due to not waiting. It won't break my marriage, not in the least. But not everyone is me & the hubby. Like I said, we're just cool! :-D But like any parent, I want more for my children than I have for myself. And I'll do all that I can to ensure that...without turning them into spoiled brats.

Out on a limb...

I just saw a snippet of a book that bashes society as a whole for focusing on sexuality of women. Specifically in focusing on their levels of purity, as if their virginity makes them worthwhile or lack thereof makes them worthless. The sentiment...up to a point, I can agree with. But discouraging young women to not hold onto their virginity as something for marriage is a mistake. One that I myself made, & I hope that my own daughter never makes. Would I ever condemn her or criticize her for that? NO!! And I hope my own two BFF's slap me if I ever make her feel like less of a person for any mistake or failure she may make or go through!

But that's the personal side of it. The hardest part for me is to combat society's idea that sexy means beautiful & not sexy means unattractive. I tell my daughter every day she's pretty... because she is sweet & kind. THAT is what makes her pretty. When she's being a little stink & whining & bossing...I tell her she's not being pretty. Because that's what it is. Pretty is a verb. At least in my own house.

As for virginity. It IS special. It's something that's precious & one time. Once it's gone, it is GONE! Can you have a successful marriage without it? Yes. So far I've managed 12 years of being pretty darn happy! But I feel a level of intimacy I could have had with my husband isn't there. And it never will be. I can't bring it back & I can't recreate what could have been. Does he love me? Very much so! I have not a doubt in my mind. We can talk about anything & we rarely argue (disagree, yes, argue, no....there's a difference).

But that "thing" isn't there. And I wouldn't have it with anyone else either. Because of what it is essentially formed from. That knowledge & learning of each other that you've never had to share with anyone else. Even if you don't resent others having been there first, you still, in the back of your mind, know you weren't first. You (as a human looking for reassurance & love) will doubt & wonder "who was better?" Even if it's something you never voice or actively consider. And I PRAY that my daughter never goes through that.

So yes, I will encourage her to "hold out" for her future husband. And I will pray that, whomever he might be, that he has parents who will encourage him to do the same for her sake. And that they'll know it's something special to be treasured. A gift if you will. Not their total value, or their worth, but something special that can't be given in any other way.